It’s December 1st. I’ve decided to give myself a challenge to blog every day this month. Honestly I’m not sure I’m going to be able to do it it, but I really want to give it a try! If I don’t do it, I’m not gonna worry either. But it would be really nice if I end up with 31 blog posts to end 2020.
It’s been such a strange year. I don’t know what to expect from 2021. And I’m not sure I should go into it with any expectations. Just hopes and wishes.
When I started this site, I had planned to make it a travel diary of sorts, to leave out a lot of personal information and keep privacy for myself and for my friends. Eventually, it turned into journal-style writing. But after watching the effects of social media this summer and the hate and division and people not wanting to understand each other and the politics… I did some self reflection. I’ll keep my exact thoughts for myself and those friends who wish to talk about it but the result was – I changed my website design to try to keep it simple and go back to my original vision. I want to write. I enjoy writing. But even that – faded out.
I realized – I’ve been trying to think about what other people want to read. I’ve been trying to avoid being mocked for my writing, to avoid those “cliche pitfalls” that people love to make fun of… you know like pumpkin spice lattes or taking too many pictures or the vest with boots that make you look like Han Solo (which I didn’t realize was a thing but what’s wrong with Han Solo???)… typically feminine things that get mocked. Because – isn’t that usually what gets mocked? Doing things that are considered too “feminine” which seems to get worse the older you get as a woman too.
But I guess with getting older… I realized another thing. When I was a teenager and in my early 20s, I was probably made fun of because I was lame (among other things I’m sure!). But now? Since I’m getting older I’m lame because I’m “old” (I’m actually not old, but I’ve got friends who tell me that lol). A HUGE amount of pressure is taken off me! I’m lame not because I’m a lame person but because I’m not in my early 20s anymore! Why can’t I do what I want?
So, with that freedom I’m writing what I want to. I (am gonna try) NOT to care about the amount of “hits” I get. If you find this blog and you enjoy it AWESOME. If you think I’m lame, then meh. To each his/her/their own and that’s okay. (And if you do, just do me a favor and move on? The world is mean enough sometimes, I’ve seen people be mean to each other especially in this year and while I can’t change it can we at least make this corner of it a bit more kind??)
That’s all the thoughts I want to get out today.