Halfway to Halfway

Halfway to Halfway

I am about halfway through my 19th week of pregnancy. Once I hit 20 weeks, I have officially made it through the halfway mark of a full term of 40 weeks!

It’s truly mind boggling to have made it this far. It’s exciting, scary, overwhelming… there’s not one word to describe it.

I’ve got a nice little bump now, the scale has moved a bit more, and the hormones are taking me for roller coaster rides (or jet coaster if you are from Japan).

The hormones (besides the aches and pains… and also I really miss sleeping on my back!) have shocked me most of all. But oddly enough – they reminded me of something. It wasn’t until last week that I realized what it was.

Puberty. The hormones reminding me of puberty. Oh gosh I HATED puberty. I hated myself GOING through puberty. And as my parents like to joke and always bring up, I was a horrible person going through it (maybe I exaggerate a bit). And really as I look back now, how could anyone else like me if I hated myself?

Thankfully, I got through it. And I thought I had left it behind. Turns out pregnancy is another major hormonal shift. One that I wasn’t mentally prepared for.

The feelings are so much different this time around – they feel exacerbated by the circumstances of the world. So my feelings are more filled with fear, depression, isolation… Ones that so many people around the world are sharing with me now. I wish I could say I’m glad it’s not just pregnancy that is bringing out these feelings, but honestly I don’t wish these feelings on anyone. I wish life was more “normal” for everyone. And I feel helpless to help. Mostly because – I also need help myself.

I’m truly glad to have experienced this pregnancy. I’m glad to be helping our new little friend to come into the world. The changes are sometimes wonderful but sometimes difficult. They will be worth it to be able to see and hold our little friend and to hope to watch them grow into a healthy, content, (and I’m sure) rambunctious person. I’d go through achy back, cramps legs, crying over random things, and even dropping everything (seriously hands, why??) just to be able to give our little friend that chance.

I’m glad to share these feelings. Every time I do, a little more “knot” of tension seems to go away, at least for a while. And the joy and excitement, which has started to flicker can grow more and more. I’m starting to get more excited, and it’s, well, exciting!

I want to share more about my pregnancy. And while I know it’s not in everyone’s interest, I feel like my blog is a good place to share it. Those who want to read will find it, and those that don’t want to read about it won’t need to see it. But I want to do this for me.

Thank you for reading along with me.



Gina Posted on4:08 pm - January 6, 2021

You nailed it! Pregnancy and puberty are weirdly similar. The emotions, the weird senstivities, feeling different in your own skin…

It’s a lot to go through.

I am glad lil friend is growing well and that we are getting closer to meeting them!!!! Love to both of you ?

    Heather Posted on8:00 am - January 7, 2021

    Lots and lots and lots of love to you back!!!!

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